The moment I made the decision to quit drinking (9/5/16) and surrender everything to the Divine, I lost my taste for alcohol. It was shocking to me because I had tried so many times in the past to get sober, but couldn’t make it stick.
This time was different, I felt it on a visceral level. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wasn’t going to relapse. The difference wasn’t courage or willpower. I unknowingly harmonized my mind body soul connection.
I also got sober without an emotional or professional support system (not even AA). So, I didn’t always handle it with grace and navigated sobriety in a really haphazard fashion.
Of course, knowing what I know now, there are things I would have done differently. But having the support isn’t one of them. Walking this journey solo taught me to trust myself and find home within. It showed me that sometimes we need to close our hearts to the world so we can open our hearts to ourselves. It’s been messy and chaotic but it’s also been beautiful and eye opening.
So, I wanted to share with you how I got sober in hopes that you find the guru within yourself. Also, if I could only focus on a few things in sobriety, the following would be it. If you’re looking to simplify your recovery and don’t know where to begin, this is a good starting point.
MIND
I began to change the words I spoke to myself when I got sober. Instead of saying, “I can’t drink,” I said to myself, “I choose not to drink because it’s a part of my new health regimen.”
I’m so unbelievably stubborn and will do the exact opposite of what I’m told to do. So I knew I couldn’t say, “I can’t drink” because I would have drank. Making it a choice, even when I didn’t feel like I had it, helped me to feel like I was in control.
What I didn’t realize then was that I was reprogramming my subconscious mind. You can read about the science behind changing our mindsets here. It explains why and how reprogramming our subconscious mind is the key to making lifestyle changes.
BODY
I attribute yoga and meditation to helping me to stay sober. What I didn’t know then was that they were regulating my nervous system.
After a lifetime of trauma, I was running on adrenaline and constantly on the lookout for the next threat, experiencing flashbacks, and creating several contingency plans so I could protect myself from any potential harm. Coming back to my body through yoga and meditation helped me to feel safe within myself.
We’ve all had trauma. We all also have our own way of processing it or maybe thinking we’ve worked through it when our bodies are still holding onto the trauma.
It inevitably keeps our nervous system in the sympathetic state (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) when ideally we want to be in the parasympathetic state (rest, digest, restore, heal). Gentle movements, yoga, walking, somatic exercises, self-care, anything that makes you feel at peace and calm is going to help regulate your nervous system.
SOUL
About three weeks before I got sober, I found my heart centered motivation to quit drinking. The person I perceived to be the love of my life had just broken up with me. Drinking played a role. Doesn’t it always?
After the breakup, I knew I needed to quit. But I was doing it for the wrong reason. I was thinking about how I needed to stop if I wanted to have a healthy relationship with a man. That inner voice practically screamed at me, “You need to quit drinking to have a healthy relationship with yourself.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. Up until then, I would have sworn up and down that I loved and respected myself.
Everyday for the next few weeks, I heard that same line in my head like it was a recording. I was both relieved and haunted by those words. But once I found my heart’s purpose to quit, something stirred within me. Something I can’t explain but knew was going to be life changing.
Instead of waiting and hopinh for that feeling to come, you can connect to your heart.
TRY THIS:
- Place one or both hands on your heart. Our awareness shifts to where we feel the sensation.
- Slowly inhale for a count of 5 and exhale for a count of 5. Our breathing naturally slows down when we’re feeling calm so this will help to feel safe in your body.
- Have gratitude for one thing to develop the heart brain coherence.
- When you find heartfelt gratitude, you’ll feel the connection to your heart- it’s almost like warm, tingly sensations.
- When you reach that connection, ask your heart why you need to quit drinking. The answer will come, it may even answer before you finish asking.
If you’re struggling right now, you got this. You have so much more strength in you than you realize. It’s just that everything’s a little foggy so you can’t see it within yourself. But you will. Hang in there.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
