Acceptance is something we all struggle with- losing someone you love, the end of a relationship, leaving a place that feels like home. It’s the same concept when we quit drinking. So I’m going to share with you how I found acceptance in recovery and the steps you can take to accept that you can’t drink again.
Grab a cup of coffee or tea, get comfy and learn how to begin your acceptance journey in sobriety.
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Just because we know some decisions are permanent doesn’t make it easier. Sometimes it makes it worse. Like drinking- you know you can’t drink again but it doesn’t mean you accept it right away.
There’s this misconception that when we decide to get sober, we’ve already come to terms with it. Not necessarily. We need time to process, to grieve, to mourn.
Knowing you need to do something is so different than accepting having to do that thing. So, if you’re feeling like there’s something wrong with the way you’re handling or approaching recovery, there isn’t.
You just need time to reconcile with it. This isn’t just a mindset change, it’s behavioral.
It’s also a brand new lifestyle, one that you haven’t lived before. You may even be meeting yourself for the first time.
When I quit drinking, I could not accept the fact that it was forever. It was too difficult to grasp. So what I did was create small, achievable sober milestones.
I told myself I was taking a one month sabbatical. When that month came closer, I extended it to two months. Then three months. Then NYE. Because new year’s was only five days away from four months of sobriety, I said no drinking on NYE.
At that point, I extended it to four months. Then five months. Six months into sobriety, I decided to go a year without drinking. When I hit the one year milestone, I told myself two years. It wasn’t until my two year sober anniversary that I said I would never drink again.
Those small goals took the pressure off of failing. There’s a fear lurking in the back of our minds that we’ll relapse and end up disappointing and embarrassing ourselves. Even worse, that we’ll prove the people who doubt our capabilities, right.
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What you can start doing:
CREATE SMALL MILESTONES
If you find yourself feeling that staying sober for the rest of your life is too much to grasp, you’re not the only one. It’s ok.
Just because it’s hard to fathom, doesn’t mean you don’t know you can’t drink again. You just need time to accept it.
Give yourself time to ease into your new life. Set monthly or quarterly goals and keep extending the marker when you’re close to reaching those goals.
Remember when you were a kid and wanted to buy something for yourself? So each week, you’d put away some allowance or part time job money to save up.
This is like that. Except this time, it’s personal. Back then, it was a thing you coveted. Now, you have yourself to live for.
COME BACK TO YOUR PURPOSE
Feelings are fleeting. Purpose is absolute.
No matter how many times you feel you lack the courage, strength, or will power, those feelings eventually go away.
Your reason for why you quit drinking will always remain with you, even when you feel like you can’t keep going. In the times when weakness is creeping in, come back to your purpose.
MAKE SOBRIETY A CHOICE
The more you make sobriety your choice and not an obligation, the easier it is to accept that you can’t drink again.
How many times have you done something out of obligation and wound up being resentful because you never wanted to do it in the first place? Probably too many to count. And the times you did something because you wanted to do it, there was no pressure of failing and you were happy.
How do you make sobriety a choice? By becoming so obsessed with being a better, improved version of yourself that sobriety is no longer an obligation.
If you’re looking to increase your self-awareness while staying sober, the Mind Body Soul Course is designed to help you heal and find peace in sobriety. It has exercises, energy healing, and journal prompts to help you become the person you aspire to be. You can join the waitlist here.
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To accept everything the moment it happens is an unreasonable expectation we place on ourselves. If you can’t accept that you can’t drink again, that’s ok. We’ve all been there. It’s perfectly healthy.
Allow yourself to grieve. It’s ironic but the more you start accepting that you’re not accepting your current situation, the more you actually start to accept it.
You’ve got this. In case no one told you today, I’m proud of you for showing up for yourself.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
