Creating Meaning In Your Life When You’re Sober

Creating Meaning In Your Life When You're Sober

Do you remember during the drinking days when you used to think to yourself that if you could just get sober, you would make life really count? That you would finally be happy, conquer your goals, and truly appreciate life? 

I did the same thing too. Then I got sober and things felt good. I was so happy to have a semblance of control over my life, but I was also healing from a heartbreak, which was what led to my sobriety and trying to unpack a lifetime of trauma. So life didn’t feel really good. I was too ashamed of my own existence to fully immerse myself in anything. 

RELATED: A GUIDE TO BEGIN HEALING IN SOBRIETY AND/OR AFTER TRAUMA WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN

I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there. We make these grand promises to ourselves, only to break them. Not intentionally. We just haven’t understood the emotional depths of our pain and just how much we need to work through. 

So life starts to pass us by. It makes us feel like we’re missing out, but sometimes we have to be bystanders until we’re able to participate. 

It’s like if you’re learning something new. First, you watch tutorials or read about it. Then you actively participate. 

That’s life when we get sober. We watch, learn the ropes, and navigate it the best we can. There is no manual on how to live life, only what works for you. 

It’s all new to us in sobriety because we’re meeting parts of ourselves for the first time. There’s an awkwardness, like during our teenage years. We end up looking for ourselves externally- from the relationships we have and how we want others to perceive us.

So we end up overlooking that what we really need is to get intentional with our time and energy. It’s in the simple moments and things. 

When you reflect back on the times that really mattered to you, they were when you had chocolate for breakfast, found a four leaf clover, and had a chat with a random stranger for hours. Of course, you may also remember the big moments but there’s a fondness that only the small moments can bring. 

RELATED: HOW TO CHANGE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF IN RECOVERY

Life isn’t about finding the meaning of it. It’s what and how we give meaning to life.

We create meaning in our lives by living true to our heart’s desires. It’s not about peer pressure, societal expectations, familial standards- it’s about being true to ourselves. That’s when our lives have meaning, purpose, passion. 

When was the last time you felt alive, other than your pain reminding you you’re still breathing? Don’t you want to feel the blood coursing through your veins? Feel a sense of freedom you’ve never felt? That happens when you start living for yourself.

Create meaning through:

  • The memories you collect 
  • Living in alignment with your soul
  • Following your heart with wild abandon
  • Choosing kindness 
  • Showing up for yourself
  • Carrying hope in your heart
  • Having gratitude for your life (even if you don’t have everything you want)
  • Loving unconditionally 

Even if you only dedicate one minute today to truly being present so you can create meaning in your life, you’re doing amazing. 

I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous. 

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