You know those times when you feel so disempowered that you wish you could be anyone but yourself? And it’s exacerbated every time you try to quit drinking or relapse.
The pain of being yourself is so debilitating. That’s not something anyone wants to or should feel. Ever.
If you’re struggling, it’s not because you’re weak. Far from it. It takes an immense amount of courage to fight the silent wars no one will ever know about.
I’ve been there too. I tried so many times to get sober. I’ve had more “day ones” than I can count. And the one recurring emotion I felt every time I failed- weakness.
When you can’t even get through one day- the things it does to your psyche. You feel both ashamed and disgusted with yourself. I’ll write a post about overcoming shame. But for right now in a condensed version, feel the shame. It’s painful but the suffering of running away from your emotions is far worse.
Anyway, on 9/5/16, I had a date with fate and got sober with nothing and no one. Not even AA. Just the Universe/God holding my hand in this journey of what we call life. That was when I realized it was never about needing the courage to quit drinking.
If you haven’t already, grab a cup of coffee or tea, get comfy, and let’s help you get the inspiration you need to get and stay sober.
A 21 day DIY sobriety program to awaken your inner guru so you can transform pain into power and purpose.
IT BEGINS IN THE HEART:
Our heart has 40,000 neuron receptors that think independently from our brain. The happiness, the heartbreak, the pain? That’s all very real.
Our heart also sends more signals to the brain than the brain to the heart. Those emotions you’re feeling? They’re coming from your heart. Not your mind.
Our heart has the ability to think, feel, sense, and remember both short and long term memories. The times you get nostalgic about the past or feel the pain from your heart? Your heart feels. Deeply.
FIND YOUR PURPOSE
It’s not about courage, it’s about connecting to your heart. Courage, like every other emotion, is fleeting. So what do you have if that’s the only thing you’re holding onto and inevitably lose it? You have nothing. When there isn’t an anchor, the boat is going to drift away.
Which is why you want to find your purpose to quit drinking instead of trying to find the courage to quit drinking. I think that’s why so many of us relapse- we’re relying on something that isn’t even constant. Then we feel lost without it. But your purpose will never leave. Once it’s there, it’s there.
And of course, when the courage leaves, instead of having compassion for ourselves, we hold ourselves to somewhat unreasonable standards. Be gentle with yourself.
It’s like exercising. If your goal is to do 100 push-ups, you’re not going to attempt all 100 the first time. You’re going to gradually build muscle strength until you can do it.
The same goes for your mistakes. Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself like you’re a person with feelings and emotions.
LEAN INTO FAITH
Maybe you’re worried about how things are going to play out- the potential conversations, how friends and family will treat you, what your life will look like. We all think about those things. But that’s when you have to have faith that things will work out for you.
Maybe your current circumstances are telling a different story. So let’s look at it from a different perspective. How many times have you thought about the worst case scenario? I’m sure plenty of times. How many times did it actually manifest into fruition? Not that often, right? That’s because things are working out in your favor.
The unseen forces are guiding you every step of the way. Know that if you fall, you’ll be picked right back up and dusted off.
Listen to the rhythms of your heart’s desires and lean into faith- you’ll hear what you truly want, you’ll heal, and you’ll find peace. And you don’t even need courage if you can’t find it.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
