Having gratitude in sobriety can feel overwhelming because it comes with mixed emotions. On the one hand, you know it’s good for your mental and spiritual health. Studies have even shown that gratitude can boost your immune system.
But, how can you find gratitude when it feels like your world is caving in on you? It isn’t impossible but you also know you have to allow yourself to feel the emotions that have been repressed for so long.
Not to mention, you probably can’t get through an entire day without hearing the word gratitude. Especially how much your life will change once you find it. So you try to find gratitude in sobriety. You know you have so much to be grateful for, that it can’t be too difficult.
The thing is, no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to find gratitude. It’s almost elusive, isn’t it? You may even think to yourself, “is there something wrong with me?” No. Not at all. It’s the conditioning we’re being prescribed.
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GRATITUDE IN SOBRIETY
I do find gratitude to be incredibly important for self-development. But, I also believe that being honest about where we’re at in our journey is where growth happens. It doesn’t happen when we’re lying to ourselves, bypassing the inner work, subscribing to toxic positivity, or repressing “negative” emotions. Growth happens when we’re able to have unfiltered conversations with ourselves.
The whole point of recovery is to heal, not to create trauma. The more you try to do something you cannot do, the more you’re going to resent yourself. That resentment can lead into being more self-effacing, toxic thinking, and potentially, a relapse. That’s the last thing you want. So if you can’t find it within yourself, don’t force yourself into gratitude.
Instead, be honest with yourself about how you’re really feeling. If that means being angry, disappointed, or upset with everything going on, then that’s how you feel. If you give it a try, you’ll see how much lighter you feel just by admitting to yourself that you can’t find gratitude because you’re feeling too many other emotions. Feeling those emotions is what leads to gratitude.
It sounds contradictory to say that what we perceive as negative emotions leads to gratitude, but it’s the honesty of what we’re feeling that brings us into being grateful. This isn’t about faking it till you make it. This is about you changing the relationship you have with yourself by learning about your own emotions and limitations.
GRATITUDE CAN BE TRIGGERING
Having gratitude in sobriety can also be triggering. Especially if you were raised in a dysfunctional home where you were indoctrinated to be ashamed of your own existence. You’re made to think there’s something fundamentally wrong with you. So, if you can’t find something as simple as gratitude, there is something wrong with you, isn’t there?
No. It comes back to the conditioning and how those programs became truths. You’re angry about the injustices. You’re hurt because you were taught that love is pain. Those wounds robbed you of a childhood and carried over into adulthood where you had to cope to stay alive.
More than anything, you don’t owe it to yourself to be grateful. At least, not right now. You owe it to yourself to be honest about your emotions. Feel what you need to feel until you’re able to be grateful. And when you’re ready to begin a gratitude practice, here’s a really simple exercise to start rewriting your inner truths.
TRY THIS:
- Express how you’re feeling- I’m angry (or whatever emotion you’re feeling).
- Then have gratitude for being honest with yourself.
- Repeat this as many times as you need.
- When you’re comfortable and ready, start developing gratitude for other things.
How do you find gratitude in sobriety and what challenges did you have when you started a gratitude practice? Leave a comment below- you never know who you’ll inspire. Also, please be sure to share this with anyone it may benefit.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
