When I had a date with fate and got sober on 9/5/16, I had no support system. Not even AA.
I didn’t trust myself enough to make the right decisions, lacked faith in my own ability to persevere, and didn’t have the slightest clue how I was going to unpack a lifetime of trauma.
There was an inner knowing that things were going to be ok and I would somehow figure things out along the way. But I still had no idea what I was doing or even where to begin the healing process.
It was also important for me to keep it as simple as possible. Especially because back then, I had a tendency to overthink everything- to the point of an anxiety attack or spiraling into depression. Sometimes both.
There was more. I knew I couldn’t be the same person and expect to heal. I needed to grow into the woman I always romanticized being but lacked the courage to be her.
Sobriety needed to mean something more than just staying sober. It needed to speak to me viscerally. So I reconnected with my mind, body, and soul to keep the process as simple as possible while taking me to new heights.
My goal is for you to find something that speaks to you, even if you can’t quite explain what it is. But you’ll know it because it hits differently. So grab a cup of coffee or tea, get comfy, and let’s help you simplify the chaos.
A 21 day DIY sobriety program to awaken your inner guru so you can transform pain into power and purpose.
WHY I WAS GETTING SOBER
It seems so obvious. We need to quit drinking because we’ve become a wrecking ball. But it can’t just be an obligation. It needs to be a visceral desire.
How many times have you done something out of obligation? Countless. How many times did you actually enjoy what you were doing when it was obligatory? Probably not often.
The resentment builds and then you eventually give up because it isn’t heart centered. It doesn’t speak to you. So, it’s natural for you to lose momentum and motivation.
Purpose is different. When you find your purpose to quit drinking, something happens. You can feel it as if it’s already a part of you.
Because it is. It was always a part of you but you just needed to feel it for yourself.
It’s no longer an intentional obligation. It becomes a deep seeded decision. Even when you feel you lack the courage or strength, your purpose drives you to keep pushing forward.
Feelings are fleeting but purpose remains absolute.
WHO I WANTED TO BECOME
It wasn’t enough for me to just stay sober. I needed to be a different person.
We can’t heal if we’re still telling and living the same stories that caused the pain and suffering.
It probably isn’t enough for you to be the same person either because you want more out of life. You may not know exactly who you want to be at this moment and that’s ok.
But you do have an idea of what you want to feel. Start with the feelings you want to feel and you’ll be able to build a mold of who you want to become.
WHAT I NEEDED TO DO TO BECOME THAT PERSON
I knew I wanted to be at peace, learn to love myself through my shortcomings, be comfortable in my own skin, and stand up for myself when someone violated my boundaries. I had no idea how to get there but I did practices to help me embody what I thought would help.
Let’s use peace as an example. If that’s what you want, you’re not going to play heavy metal music. You’re going to listen to calming, soothing music.
It’s the little things you do everyday that bring you closer to who you become.
You also don’t have to dedicate an obscene amount of time. You just have to have an idea of who you want to be or what you want to feel, followed by small actions each day.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
