It’s like insult’s been added to injury when you’re healing and mending the broken pieces of yourself while watching the ones who abused you living it up. You can’t help but think, am I the one who’s depraved? Is this my karma? You also can’t help but wonder why they haven’t gotten their karma.
No, you’re not the one that’s morally bankrupt. And your karma isn’t to suffer, but it is to learn the lessons the relationship(s) brought you. That could be learning to find home within yourself, having strong boundaries, living for yourself instead of others. It could even be all of them. Whatever it is you need to outgrow, you will know.
And it’s ok if you don’t know what the lessons are yet. None of us did in the beginning. You will get the answers.
As for the third question- why haven’t they received their karma? They do and they don’t. I know it sounds contradictory but everything’s going to make sense within a few minutes.
If you haven’t already, grab a cup of coffee or tea, get comfy, and let’s help you unwrap the mental chaos so you can find some peace and understanding.
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THEY GET THEIR KARMA
They do receive some karma, but we jump in and help them out of whatever they’ve reaped. That’s not to blame you for anything. I’ve been there too and it took me several years to finally understand what was happening.
We’re not looking at it as their reckoning, just a stroke of bad luck. So we do what we can to help them. We then inadvertently take on their karma for them.
Or we haven’t entirely broken the trauma bond so we feel an obligation to help. Either we’re guilted or gaslit into helping them out of the mess they created.
Whatever it is, we wind up swallowing some of their karma. That’s ok. We didn’t know. Even if you were aware you were taking on their karma and helped them anyway, you did it because you cared. But now that you have a different perspective, you can make different choices- choices that align with your highest timeline.
THEY DON’T GET THEIR KARMA
They can’t get all of their karma until you let go. If there’s even a tiny part of you that’s still energetically holding on, you’re still attached. That energetic attachment is preventing you from receiving your justice.
I get it. It’s hard not to care when you love someone. But if you’re still checking up on them (even if it’s through social media or asking mutual friends) or even care what they think about you, a part of you is still bound to them.
So what you need to do is detach yourself, not in a vindictive and spiteful way. This isn’t about, “screw them. I’ll show them I’m the wrong person to f*ck with.”
This is about understanding that we all have our own journey and with that, comes lessons so we can grow and evolve. Just as you’re learning your lessons on your own, they have to also. The more we jump in, the less they learn.
And in all seriousness, some of these people we’re talking about will forever be emotionally stunted, immoral people. They refuse to learn. So us helping them isn’t benefiting anyone. It’s a lost cause.
If you think the Universe isn’t working for you and rewards depravity, that’s not true. The Universe is working in your favor AND protecting you from taking on someone else’s karma. Remember that next time you think this is your fault. It isn’t. None of it was.
How do you get out of this cycle?
First, we need to be aware that even though we want justice to be served, we still care too much and would help them out of whatever mess they may be in. That honesty is the first step in breaking yourself out of any toxic cycle.
Second, you need to start breaking the trauma bond. It’s why we keep going back.
When people consistently show you that they have no empathy or remorse, believe them. It’s not easy to break this but when you begin to recognize the patterns and regulate your nervous system, you’ll find that distancing yourself is the only thing that makes sense.
Third, pull your energy back. Start investing in yourself. Take care of your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Go after your dreams. Dedicate your time to passion projects. Become obsessed with becoming a better improved version of yourself.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
