I know how difficult it is to look at yourself in the mirror because the person staring back at you is a reminder of your failures. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless when you can’t find your way out or even see a glimmer of light. And I know what it’s like to have to wipe away your tears because no one else is there to do it for you.
I know what it’s like to beg and plead for love from the very people who pushed you till you fell and continued to kick you when you were down on the ground. And a part of you is so ashamed, but you’re so desperate for someone to love you, to see you, to understand you.
I know what it’s like to be consumed with so much pain that it hurts to wake up in the mornings. I know what it’s like to feel like your existence is a burden, even to yourself. And you don’t know how to make it through each day, but somehow you manage to get by.
I know what it’s like to tell yourself that everything is going to be ok even though you don’t believe it. But it’s the only thing you can say. It makes the pain less real.
I also know what it’s like to keep showing up for yourself even when you don’t want to or even know how. I know what it’s like to have a will so broken that you don’t know if you have it in you to lift your own spirit. So you hold onto blind faith because it’s easier than to believe in yourself.
I also know what it’s like to climb out of the pits of hell wearing a blindfold. I know what it’s like to take a step forward but take 10 steps back. Somehow, there’s an insatiable drive in you, almost supernatural. It’s like in the moments you’re running out of life force, you realize the Divine is within you.
I also know what it’s like to surrender, to throw caution to the wind and allow yourself to be guided by the unseen forces.
I know pain, suffering, and heartbreak. It was my life. It was me. But I also know what it’s like to come out on the other side.
It’s a bittersweet journey but at the end of the day, it isn’t about the hand we’re dealt. It’s what we do with it that matters.
Walk in faith. Because it’s what gives you the will to keep fighting for yourself. You’re worth the fight. Even if you don’t believe it.
TRY THIS:
Place your hand on your heart. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. What do you feel? What do you see? Do you feel a connection yourself, even if it’s only for a split second? If not, that’s ok. Just keep practicing and you’ll feel home within yourself. Come back to this exercise as often as you can to help build a relationship with yourself.
ASK YOURSELF:
If I could have anything in the world, what would it be? Don’t be shy with your answer. Boldly and proudly say what you want. Giving up on your dreams and yourself is no longer an option. You don’t have to chase your dreams right now if you don’t have it in you. You just need to be honest enough to admit that you want so much more than you’ve accepted.
Just keep holding on. Your time will come. God/the Universe hears your prayers and they won’t let you down.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
