It’s that time again…Countdown to Christmas on Hallmark.
There’s an excitement to it this year that hasn’t been there for a long time. Last year felt surreal, almost like the holidays were in the background and faded out with an abruptness like it never happened.
I don’t know if you feel it too- it’s like we had to operate on blind faith for a few years. We knew things would get better, but it was the inner knowing that we relied on. We didn’t have tangible proof of a better tomorrow.
And now, tomorrow has finally arrived. The small manifestations are starting to come in quicker, prayers feel like conversations with the Divine instead of begging and pleading for something better. Even gratitude isn’t forced because things feel lighter.
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The energy went from hope to promise. Everything we wished for has always been there, but we needed to sit in that waiting and sit with our shame. Otherwise, we didn’t have the capacity to hold our dreams and desires.
That’s not because we have defects or deficiencies, it’s because we needed to meet a version of ourselves we’ve never met. We’ve been introduced to them in our own imagination, but never long enough to really know who they are.
The tears, the heartbreaks, the anger, the resentments, the dissecting our entire lives wishing we made better decisions, wishing we weren’t who we were, the times we defied our internal compass to chase the validation from others we don’t even like- were also the very things that we needed to feel and experience to bring us to a state where we can honor them with just as much reverence as we do in the times we wish we could always hold onto.
We’ve also come to the realization that being grateful for who we are is not a product of the people who harmed us. We are the product of our healing.
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Those moments, the moments we didn’t want to feel took us into a place where happiness is a decision and not a destination, and where gratitude is felt and not practiced, and where loving ourselves is a choice and not an obligation.
Some of us didn’t think we were going to make it out on the other side, and not only have we, but we’ve transformed into a version of ourselves we’re proud to be and created a life we’re proud to live.
We finally understand the difference between forgiveness and masochism, self-respect and self-sacrifice, and sovereignty and submission.
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And so, here we are, standing in the version of us we always wanted to be, but will still continue to grow with each breath we take.
Take a moment for yourself today to honor your journey, to thank yourself, and to savor all that’s to come.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
