Choosing The Freedom Of Being Yourself

I’ve had to sit with some heavy emotions this summer- lies I so desperately wanted to be truths, truths I wanted to be lies, and comforts I wish I didn’t have to leave.

I was forced to confront the harsh realities of what I was romanticizing, hoping if I didn’t acknowledge it with stark clarity, I could remain protected in my little bubble of blissful ignorance. But the truth always has a way of shining its light in the darkest parts.

No matter how hard we try to escape truth, it always wins.

I don’t believe that the truth hurts. I believe emotionally stunted people say that to deflect from their own accountability.

Truth frees us, but only when we prefer to hate the truth than love a lie.

Until then, we’re stuck in a prison of hope. And so, we wait. We wait for people to change, we wait for time to turn back the clocks on our mistakes, we wait for redemption to change our character.

That waiting prison encapsulates us, shrouding us in the illusions we pray are our freedom.

When the cards eventually fall, we finally see the prison we thought was our sanctuary. And the distortions we loved to love, break us.

Ironically, what breaks us is also what heals us. It’s when we look at the fragments, that we’re able to see the pieces we need to mend, the scars we thought were invisible, the emotions we thought were deficiencies.

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In those illusory deficiencies, we find freedom from it all- freedom from refusing to live someone else’s lies, freedom from refusing to live our own lies, freedom to nurture the wounds that make us whole, not flawed.

Fantasize about the life you want, not the potential of who someone can be. Daydream about your goals, not the things you wish you did differently or the words you shouldn’t have or should have said. Imagine what it’s like to have the life you want instead of contemplating worst case scenarios.

Don’t allow someone else’s definition of you to be your definition of yourself. Don’t let the voices that say you can’t stop you from even trying. Don’t allow yourself to be the unfinished, save it for later project you’ll never get around to.

This isn’t to say let it go. We can’t even if we wanted to. It’s a part of who we are, but it isn’t all that we are.

It’s about choosing better for yourself. So, choose the life you want.

Let yourself believe in something better for yourself. Let yourself feel what freedom feels like to you. Let your heart guide you in this journey of what we call life. Choose the freedom of being yourself, not the lie of what others want you to be.

I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.