Surrendering To The Unseen Forces When You’re Sober

There’s a power we gain in surrendering- a serene power. A power that can only come when we allow the unseen forces to guide us, a power that even though we’re not in the driver’s seat, we’ve never been in more control of our own lives. There is something so liberating and peaceful about it.

But, there’s also a paradox to surrendering. In releasing our resistance to the Divine, our problems sometimes appear to be intensified through the circumstances we find ourselves in.

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Here’s an example:

Let’s say you surrender your healing- the unhealed wounds, the invisible scars, the times you wish you could get a do over. That doesn’t mean you’re going to wake up tomorrow and be completely healed. What it does mean is that the Universe will show you the parts of yourself that need to be tended to before you can see yourself as healed.

This may manifest through situations we really don’t want to be in- an argument with someone you care about, the friend who’s always late and even shows up late when they know you have somewhere to be later, the dry cleaners who lost something of yours for the fifth time but you never said anything the previous four times.

In those moments, it doesn’t seem like the Universe is conspiring with you. And a part of you can’t help but feel like you’re being punished for even attempting to ask for something.

You’re not being punished. You’re actually being given clarity- whether that’s speaking up for yourself without apologizing, cutting ties with people, creating boundaries with yourself and others, etc., we’re shown the things we’re avoiding.

And that isn’t to test you. It’s to align you with what you want. It just feels messy and chaotic because we’re placed in uncomfortable situations.

This also isn’t about being careful about what you wish for, because it may come true. This is about our prayers getting answered. It just isn’t necessarily how we want them answered, but, in order to get what we want, we need to be aligned with our desires.

The reason we have to be aligned with the things we want is so that we have the capacity to hold ALL of it when it arrives. Want isn’t enough to come into alignment. Embodiment is alignment.

That doesn’t mean to not surrender. It absolutely does. We just need to view the destruction as deconstruction, because to get what we want, we need to release whatever can’t come with us into the next chapter.

Surrendering takes us down a path that we don’t normally and wouldn’t travel. But that less traveled path is also the quickest route. It’s our want to control that makes it feel like it’s taking an eternity. It’s also less painful. It just feels painful because of our resistance.

This doesn’t mean we should be pacifists in our own lives either. It’s actually the opposite. It means that we become active participants in the choices and decisions we make, but to allow the Divine to align us with the opportunities that will take us where we want to go, to trust in their wisdom and guidance because they can see what we can’t.

Surrendering isn’t giving up, it’s creating discipline. It’s not a discipline in being rigid and structured, always needing to do the exact same thing at the exact same time everyday. It’s discipline in fluidity, in riding the waves of life without needing to know every detail. It’s discipline in trusting to listen to those inner nudges.

It can feel like a constant struggle. We’re asked to adapt to circumstances and situations that aren’t in alignment with where we want to go, not because there’s no gain in pain, but because there’s pleasure in the unknown. It’s about enjoying the journey with its detours and twists and turns, because the destination without the journey would be anticlimactic.

And, yes, it can feel like you’re sacrificing so much for things you can’t even yet see. It feels like you’re losing everything when you surrender- people you love, mindsets that keep you safe, defense mechanisms that keep your heart in tact, fragments of yourself that feel so true to who you are.

But, surrendering isn’t losing or sacrificing anything because we find pieces of ourselves that have laid dormant, we meet people we feel a kinship with, we honor parts of ourselves that once used to shame us.

It just feels like our worlds are falling apart because of how deeply we hold onto what we think we need, what we think keeps us safe, and the people and things we aren’t ready to part with.

Surrendering isn’t a sacrifice. Surrendering is a homecoming.

I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.