My Experience With Gang Stalking

Something I’ve never spoken about were my experiences with gang stalking. Partly, because I blamed myself for it. And partly, because I was in a fog. I couldn’t articulate the emotions in the ways it broke me.

I went through two rounds of gang stalking, orchestrated by the same two people- my mother and my father’s girlfriend. The first time began about 13 years ago and lasted for about three years. The second round started a few years back and I’m just coming out of it, at the time of publishing this.

I believe in forgiveness, but I also know the reason why I went through the second round of it was because I didn’t just dismiss what was done to me the first time, I defended the people who harmed me. I thought I deserved having my life destroyed, so I took the blame for why they did the things they did.

The first round of it was slowly killing me. I didn’t think I was going to make it out alive, and looking back on it, I’m pretty sure those were their intentions for me.

My father and sister turned their backs on me, family friends wouldn’t listen to me, I couldn’t hold a job, my mother even got the legal system against me. Whoever my mother and father’s girlfriend could get to turn on me, they did. And these people happily obliged.

It led me to having one psychotic breakdown after another, struggling with mental illnesses, and drowning my sorrows in alcohol. The people closest to me knew. They saw me deteriorating.

When people say you find out who’s really with you when you’re down, I thought I would at the very least have one person. I had no one. Not one person helped me.

Knowing I was suicidal, my father’s girlfriend emailed me to tell me I should kill myself. And even when I showed people the evidence I had, no one had my back.

And not only did no one help me, people showed sides of themselves that can only be described as evil. When you see the lengths they’re willing to go to destroy you, it makes it easier to believe in evil entities than to believe that humans are capable of being that deranged.

They didn’t see the times I begged and pleaded with God to end my life because I couldn’t bring myself to do it after my suicide attempt. They didn’t see the times I cried myself to sleep because I felt so trapped in my own suffering. And they didn’t see the wars I silently fought just to make it through another day.

Some of these people didn’t even take the time to get to know me. They decided they knew everything there was to know about me based on what they heard. Then there were people who smiled to my face while plotting behind my back.

The worst part is that this is a game to some people- to see you break just so they can kick you when you’re down on the ground. You can see their amusement by the way their eyes sparkle when they see you suffering.

Until recently, I was so scared of speaking about it, about them, because I feared the people who came after me and still blamed myself for what they did. So I pretended like it never happened.

If you’ve been through it, or are currently going through it, my heart goes out to you. I know how painful it is to feel so alone, especially when the people you need the most are the ones who turn their backs on you.

You never needed them and you never will. It doesn’t feel that way right now, but one day, you’ll realize that you want more for yourself- more dignity, more respect, more loyalty. Then you decide that you’re going to stop entertaining the things and people that don’t contribute to your growth. And then you stop. Just like that, you cut out everything that’s holding you back.

Use this time as an opportunity to learn how to have your own back, to trust yourself, and to fight for the life you want. Chase your dreams. Find your passions.

It can be so difficult to see them getting away with the things they do, while you’re picking up the pieces of what’s left of your life and yourself, but, remember this- in the end, their biggest mistake is overestimating themselves. Their arrogance leads them to believe that they’re somehow immune to karma. But one day, they will drown in their own depravity. Karma misses no one.

I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.