Coming Home To Yourself When You’re Sober

Sometimes we get so lost that we don’t even know what would make us happy, let alone, how to find our way back to ourselves. So we keep searching, hoping that if we look long and hard enough, we’ll stumble upon the right path. And if we’re really lucky, maybe we’ll have a happy accident and find what makes us feel alive.

There’s so many stories in our heads, stories that aren’t even ours, of who we’re supposed to be, what we’re supposed to do, and the dreams we should chase. So we chase them and when we achieve them, we feel an emptiness. And sometimes, we feel even emptier after we achieve the things that were supposed to make us happy.

Then when we dare to want something different for ourselves, we’re told we’re the problem. So, we revert back to the same patterns, while changing everything about ourselves to fit in. It’s this never ending cycle until we decide we don’t mind being the problem, in the sense that we aren’t harming anyone.

If driving around the country in a van is your happiness, all the power to you. If working for a Fortune 500 company is your definition of success, all the power to you. Or maybe having a homestead means freedom to you. Or having quiet mornings, baking bread and savoring your coffee or tea means you’ve made it.

Whatever it is, allow your happiness to be your decision and not anyone else’s. You’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to change your mind thousands of times, and you’re going to have a whole bunch of, “I told you so” moments, but you learn and you grow through it all. And most importantly, you lived for yourself, not anyone else’s expectations of you.

Let yourself dream. Imagine the life you want to call yours and don’t stop until you get it.

When you close your eyes…

What do you want to see?
What makes you smile?
What makes your heart beat in that special way?
What brings you peace and fulfillment?
What sets your soul on fire and ignites your passion?

Whatever you see or feel- that’s your home. Hold onto it and don’t let go.

Even if you feel you can’t do anything about it right now, hold onto the feeling. Because there will be people, including yourself, who try to convince you that the life you daydream about and the times you tell yourself, “one day,”- aren’t for you. It’s for other people, but not you. You’re supposed to conform to the status quo and flock with the seagulls. No.

Those visions you get when you daydream and close your eyes, that’s your inner compass guiding you back home to yourself. Follow it.

You don’t need to build a home within yourself because it’s already been built. You just need to live in it so it feels like home.

I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.