Finding Your Worth In Sobriety

There’s a dichotomy to sobriety. On the one hand, it’s so liberating. Then, the other side of the spectrum is that it triggers the things we’ve been running away from.

The wounds feel too raw to get anywhere near. And the humiliation hangover is far too real to acknowledge. It can feel like finding your worth is out of reach. But it isn’t. These three tips will help you to release the emotional baggage so you can align with the healed version of yourself. If you haven’t already, grab a cup of coffee or tea and get comfy.

Before we get started, let me give you a quick intro- Hi! I’m Eva, the holistic recovery coach and energy healer behind Cleen Carma. When I sobered up on 9/5/16, I did it without any support. Not even AA. I also unpacked a lifetime of trauma along with mental illnesses on my own. Now, I’m here to help you rewrite the beliefs that say you can’t, because you can.

GIVE YOURSELF VALIDATION

It seems so obvious that our worth comes from within. But if you’ve been indoctrinated to think approval comes from others, it isn’t that transparent. It’s the only way we know.

Giving yourself validation is also one of the hardest things we can do for ourselves, because there’s a part of us that thinks being our own hype person makes us self-obsessed. It doesn’t. Far from it. It’s about recognizing your self-worth and value so you don’t fall back into repeated toxic cycles and behaviors.

Instead of dismissing yourself, acknowledge when you have a rough day. Vent to yourself if you need to. Become the person you’ve always needed. And celebrate yourself the way you want to be celebrated. Do something nice for yourself for no reason other than just because. Validate your experiences, feelings, and emotions.

INVEST YOUR ENERGY IN YOURSELF

Do you have any idea just how powerful your energy is? People who are constantly taking it know, that’s why they keep coming back for more.

Our energy is invaluable. It’s also something we give so freely to others. We give our time when it’s time we don’t really have. We give emotional support when we’re breaking on the inside. And when it’s time to give back to ourselves, we don’t have anything left to give.

That doesn’t mean that you need to be unkind. But it does mean you need to prioritize where your energy is being sent. If you have a work project and are on a tight deadline but someone needs to vent for four hours about their day being ruined because they spilled coffee on their favorite shirt, pull that energy back.

Dedicate your energy to yourself. Chase your dreams. Pursue your goals. Go back to hobbies you walked away from or pick up new ones. I promise you that you’re worth the investment. The more time you dedicate to yourself, you’ll begin feeling it too.

Energy is also:

the stories we tell ourselves
the way we speak to ourselves
replaying conversations wondering what you could have said differently to the person who insulted you
creating scenarios so you have the perfect clap back
ruminating on why certain people are committed to misunderstanding you

What you think becomes self-fulfilling prophecies. Hebb’s Law- neurons that fire together, wire together. So speak kind words to yourself. Speak to yourself like you respect yourself.

SET BOUNDARIES WITH YOURSELF

From personal experience, my boundaries with others always failed miserably until I set boundaries with myself. So if you’re struggling with setting boundaries with other people, begin from within.

Make it a standard that you’ll only allow self-compassion. Be gentle with the way you speak and act with yourself. Don’t dismiss or ignore your needs and wants. Don’t only love yourself when things are going good or right. And don’t wait until you get the things you want to be happy or nicer to yourself. You deserve all of your love, especially on the days you need it most.

Respect yourself enough to honor your word. And if for any reason, you can’t seem to take action on the things you say you’ll do, you’re probably stuck in survival mode. Regulate your nervous system so your body feels safe enough to move forward. This isn’t just about our mental blockages. Our bodies keep score too. So find safety within yourself.

If you feel like you’re stuck, it happens to all of us. It’s in the moments of stillness, we find our footing and gain clarity.

Remember this- it isn’t about the goal. It’s the steps you take that matter. So enjoy your journey, cherish each moment, and collect beautiful memories.

How are you finding your worth in sobriety? Leave a comment below. Also, please be sure to share this with anyone it may benefit.

I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.