Your Healing Journey Is Personal

One thing that really frustrated me when I used to speak up about something bothering me was when people would say, “You shouldn’t take it so personally.”

In their defense, I really did need to learn to value myself more than I cared what people thought about me. I get that. But the thing is, when someone is attempting to intentionally destroy you (lying about you, reversing the roles of the dynamics of your relationship, physical and verbal abuse, manipulations, etc.), that’s very personal. I mean, they’re going out of their way to inflict pain on you, and the ones you tell the story to, know this.

It’s like they’re attempting to desensitize you to your own emotions and making you feel like having feelings is a character flaw. Not to mention, if you wouldn’t do it to someone else, why wouldn’t you take it personally? And that goes beyond what other people do to you.

Like, “it’s just business. Don’t take it personally.” Business IS personal. If you were to get bad service in a restaurant, would you go back? No, because you worked hard for that money. To go and give it to a business that doesn’t value you is disrespecting yourself.

If you own your own business, would you intentionally give someone bad service? No, because you care and know that word of mouth is the greatest marketing there is. That’s as personal as it gets.

Things are personal. Life is personal. I’m not sure why we undermine the value of anything or anyone by claiming things aren’t. The more we do that, the more we devalue our own selves.

Of course, we need to understand the difference between a projection and a direct attack. But, even so, I believe in defending your own honor above all else, including your healing journey.

Make your healing personal. For all the times you feel you’ve let yourself down. For all the times you told yourself you weren’t good enough, weren’t worthy, didn’t have what it took. For all the times you broke promises to yourself. For all the times you let other people dictate your worth. For all the tears you cried. For the heartbreaks you’ve endured. For all the times you forgave others when they didn’t bother apologizing.

Imagine if you felt you owed yourself the world instead of having to atone for being you. Or if you look at yourself the way you look at those you admire and respect. Imagine how different things would be- how different you would treat yourself. Imagine how much more confidence you would have if you started speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion. It feels more personal, doesn’t it?

What would your life look like if you gave yourself grace? Would you…

stop showing up as the outcast of your own life?
stand a little taller?
feel more comfortable in your own skin?
start taking yourself seriously?

Give yourself the time and attention you would give anyone else. Invest in yourself. Heal because you know you owe yourself that upgraded, improved version of you.

Do it for the old you- the one that didn’t know how they were going to make it through another day. Do it for the present you- the one that has the understanding to know that you’re meant for more. And do it for the future you- the one that’s going to be so proud of you for making yourself a priority.

Make it personal. Because it is.

I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.