I’ve always loved to be alone, since I was a kid. Even the silence. Somewhere along the way, it got into my head that being alone meant I’m lazy and selfish.
But it used to mean peace. I didn’t have to hear my family criticizing, mocking, or ridiculing me. I didn’t have to listen to their constant put downs and why they’re morally superior.
It was also when I felt the most connected to the unseen forces. I could feel this loving presence around me. I always have, but as a kid, it was the strongest when I was alone in my bedroom.
Then I started to hate the silence. It meant I was stuck with my thoughts and had nowhere to hide from myself. It was a punishment.
When I got older, I would always do something to make sure I wasn’t left in the quiet. If I was driving, I would have the radio on full blast. If I was home, I would make sure I was drunk or stoned.
Getting sober made me kind of like it again. But it wasn’t until I cut off toxic relationships that I really started to enjoy these alone moments.
There was a peace that came when I began feeling safe in my body. It was when my mind got quiet enough to ask myself what I wanted and needed instead of criticizing myself for being me. It was when I came to the realization that those moments of isolation weren’t meant to punish, but to heal.
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In solitude, we create our destiny.
We get to sit with the Universe/God. There’s something so prolific about this- something that words can’t describe. In this timeout, we learn what trust really means, we learn how to let go and let God, we learn how to bend reality.
We drown out everyone else’s definitions of what life is supposed to look like and decide how we want to live our lives. It’s an opportunity to turn on our internal compass and allow it to guide us.
We get to tend to the invisible scars without anyone trying to deliberately harm us. We get to restore our dignity. The pieces of ourselves that were left in the words we said, the toxic relationships, the questionable situations we put ourselves in- we get to heal from all of it.
We reconcile our relationship with ourselves, or maybe for the first time in our lives, we build a relationship with ourselves. It’s when we begin to understand what it means to have our own back, to show up for ourselves, and to become the person we’ve always needed.
We learn who we are, not what people want us to be or think we are. When that happens, it’s not that we don’t care, but what the world thinks of us stops mattering. Because you value your opinion of yourself more than anyone else’s false judgements.
There’s a power to that that no one can ever take away or destroy once you awaken to who you are. And that happens in stillness.
I know that quiet solitude can feel like hell is burning inside of you. But it’s your chance to conquer hell so you can create a sanctuary within yourself.
The silence isn’t to constrict you, it’s to expand you. It’s there to show you your highest potential and help you to achieve all of your heart’s desires. It’s guiding you to become the person you’ve always known deep down you could be.
We heal in the quiet. So, if you hate silence, change your perspective just a little bit. It’s preparing you for your greatest comeback. Take full advantage of it and create your destiny.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
