I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve clearly seen something in my mind’s eye, something I wanted, only to settle for something not as great. This goes for all manifestations- relationships, dream home, job, etc. But for this example, I’m going to say a dress.
I see the dress clearly- the material, the color, the style, the length. I’ll look for it and can’t find exactly what I want, but I find something I tell myself is it. Even though there’s stark differences between what I really wanted and what I’m currently looking at, I’ll buy what I’m looking at.
The material, the length, the style are different but the color is the same. I tell myself that one out of four is a win and besides, I don’t want to wait longer for what I really want.
I inadvertently settled. I don’t even really like what I bought but I convince myself that I should feel grateful I had the money to buy it.
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Eventually, I’ll see what I really wanted all along. Then a sense of guilt washes over me for not trusting that I was going to get exactly what I wanted. All I had to do was trust and allow it to come to me instead of chasing.
How many times have you done that? Settled and then convinced yourself why it was better even though you’re not too crazy about it. There’s even a part of you that tells you to wait but you don’t want to.
We think, “Oh, it’s just a sweater. No biggie.” Because life is a compromise. But it’s one thing to compromise on what we want to eat, where we want to go and what we want to do when other people are involved. It’s an entirely different thing to compromise on quality. So we end up sacrificing what we really want because we don’t think we can afford it or don’t feel we’re worthy of more.
Manifestation isn’t about working to afford something. It’s about getting into alignment so that we can materially and energetically afford to get what we want. Make it a hard limit to refuse to settle for anything short of what you want.
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Raise your standards and expectations first. Otherwise, we fall back into the same old patterns. That’s why our manifestations don’t come into fruition, or when it does, it looks kind of botched.
When we want things, we don’t just sabotage our manifestations with disbelief, but we settle for something else. Something less.
Be unwavering with what you want because it’s in your thoughts for a reason. Maybe the lesson you have to learn isn’t to be ok with where you’re at, but to get comfortable with asking for more.
Take a look at the following list to see what you need to work through. It may be all of them. It was for me too. That’s ok. It just means that you need to be more gentle with yourself in these areas.
Remember, manifesting should be fun. So, if for any reason, you’re feeling frustrated, tap into why. Then turn it into a game, not a chore. Enjoy it.
- This is the most important one on this list. So, if you only pay attention to one thing, let this be it. We don’t feel safe. If we don’t feel safe enough to receive something, we’ll find a way to push it away. And we tell ourselves, “but if I had the thing, I would feel safe.” That’s not necessarily true. Our brain and nervous system have been rewired to stay in a place of lack and scarcity, so even when good tries to come in, it’s a perceived threat. You need to reprogram your subconscious mind (subliminals and affirmations) and regulate your nervous system (somatic exercises, yoga, meditation, deep breathing, gentle movements, anything that makes you feel calm).
- Gratitude does not mean we should be grateful for breadcrumbs. We should be grateful for what we have, not breadcrumbs. Were you raised to feel entitled for having your basic necessities met? Explore the words your parents/guardians said to you that made you feel inadequate and guilty for wanting more.
- Our lack of patience. Where does your fear of missing out come from? The majority of our beliefs stem from our childhood so take a look at that. In the meantime, try a perspective shift- you can’t miss what’s meant for you. It can only be delayed, but not denied.
- Not thinking what we want exists. Flip the script. If you can see it, it exists. Trust your mind’s eye.
- We’re not worthy of it. Why should you have any less than someone else? In what world is that fair? You’re just as deserving of anyone else for your manifestations. Explore your wounds of feeling undeserving and unworthy.
- Not trusting our own inner guidance. Somewhere along the way, you were taught that you shouldn’t trust yourself. Reflect back to situations and conversations that enforced and reinforced this belief. This circles back to the first tip- if we don’t feel safe within ourselves, we won’t trust ourselves enough to listen to our intuition.
- Convincing yourself you would have ruined it. Maybe you’re prone to spilling things so you tell yourself, “well, I probably would have gotten a stain on it anyway so it’s better this way.” Why do you think you would ruin something? Forget the accidents. Just because something gets stained, doesn’t mean it’s ruined. It just needs a little extra TLC to revive it, that’s all. You don’t ruin things, you enhance them.
I’ll see you soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
