Learning who you are in sobriety- 3 prompts to help you

learning who you are in sobriety- 3 prompts to help you

Recovery is all about learning who you are in sobriety.

You’ve successfully said sayonara to the booze either through a detox center, rehab, or did it on your own.  First thing’s first…congrats!!!  Whether you may feel it or not, the beginning of your life is here.  Maybe you’re rolling your eyes because you feel like this is more of a death than a rebirth.  

As someone who has struggled with alcohol addiction for nearly 11 years before I sobered up, I can assure you that I did in fact feel the same way.  More than that, I’ve come to understand and appreciate that I was resurrected from the precipice of death.  My rebirth happened over three years ago.  

While I’ve since had numerous ups and downs battling the cycles of life, I wouldn’t have been nearly as successful in handling myself in certain situations had alcohol remained in my life.

You may be feeling scared, trapped, and don’t know how to navigate the choppy waters that are inevitably going to come your way.  But, and I am strongly emphasizing the BUT- because there is always a silver lining, you now get to be the person that you’ve always aspired to be.  Sans the booze- but, of course.  

Life is magical in sobriety

It doesn’t do me or you any good to tell you how amazing life is without alcohol in it.  Because that’s something that you have to experience on your own.  

It also wouldn’t serve you or myself to tell you that life is sooooo much more fun without alcohol because that’s something you have to cultivate on your own.  And it most certainly wouldn’t benefit you or myself if I tell you that the temptation to drink will cease as time elapses because that’s something that you’ll come to find out on your own.  

Maybe you’ll find comfort and solace in those words.  Because you’re looking for some form of salvation in words.  

Release the labels you’ve given yourself

The first step to learning who you are in sobriety is to change how you identify yourself. You’ve quit…there’s no need to keep identifying as an alcoholic or someone who battled with drinking.  

That was a day ago, a week ago, a month ago.  It’s already in the past.  You’re no longer an alcoholic.  You’re now a recovering alcoholic.

We’re in the present moment which means this a brand new you- a massively upgraded version of you.  However, before you get to that step, you have to learn who you are in order to climb the ranks of your own life.

It’s time to figure out who you are

Who’s reading these words?  That’s your job now.  Aside from your healing journey, your main priority is dedicated to learning who you are in sobriety.  I don’t mean who you are through adjectives and semantics. I mean who you are at a core level.

When you do, your life makes sense.  Why you drank makes sense.  When that becomes clear, the more you stand behind your convictions of remaining sober.  

If your strength lies in your sobriety rather than in your weakness over alcohol, you learn to embrace every part of you.  Even the qualities that you may deem to be negative.

Sobriety isn’t just about putting down the booze and taking it one day at a time.  Or even one minute at a time.  

It’s about cultivating a self-loving relationship so that you can continue living a life abstaining from alcohol.  Self-love comes when you not only learn who you are, but accept yourself wholeheartedly- including all of your fallacies and shortcomings.  

It takes time.  

You may not wake up tomorrow and proclaim to yourself and the world that you love yourself unconditionally.  And that’s ok.  Because that’s not the point of this.  The point is to learn who you are so you love yourself so damn much that you don’t have to announce it to anyone.  It just oozes out of your pores.  

Sounds amazing, right?  

To be so radiant and filled with bliss that anyone who crosses your path can see your inner shine?  

Yes, it can happen.  And yes, it can be you.  

All you need are a few prompts to get you started in your journey of self-discovery which is the catalyst for self-love.  

Let’s get started on learning who you are in sobriety, shall we?

Why did you drink?

Scratch below the surface area of this.  Set aside the obvious that you were addicted.  You weren’t born addicted but you did come to develop the addiction as the years passed.  

So, what’s the underlying reason why you drank?  

  • Did drinking make you feel alive?  
  • To feel confident?  
  • You felt empowered?  
  • Life is tough and alcohol mitigated the pain and suffering?  
  • You didn’t want to face reality?  
  • Because you didn’t want to learn who you really were?

These are just a few of the reasons behind your drinking.  There are so many more but I’m sure you get the point.  There is no wrong answer unless you’re lying to yourself so be brutally honest.  No one has to see your answers.

Once you have the answers to your questions, you need to dig a little deeper. Which brings us to the next step.

What other addictions do you suffer from?

You may be thinking that alcohol was your one and only vice.  But, it probably wasn’t.  Addictions come in all forms; not just substances.  Your drinking wasn’t just an addiction to the booze.  It goes deeper than that.  Now is the perfect time to find out what they are.

Addictions can be anything:

  • negative thinking
  • unworthiness
  • pain
  • suffering
  • being a martyr
  • victimizing yourself
  • emotional eating 

When you evaluate other aspects of yourself that may be reliant on a certain behavior or pattern, you’re provided with a deeper glimpse into your psyche.  When that awareness surfaces, you can heal the self-destructive patterns preventing you from your own progress.

Evaluating your addictions is so pivotal to learning who you are in sobriety. Once you have them figured out, you can start to cultivate a deeper connection with the Divine. Which is the nest step of your transformational journey.

Do you have any spiritual practices?

Learning who you are in sobriety through spiritual practices is where the salvation is found.

When I got sober, I was so reliant on the Divine to aid me.  I didn’t have any faith in myself so placed everything in them.  And they’ve been nothing but truly incredible to me.  When I needed a miracle, they gave me one.  The times that I thought money was going to be a problem, they resolved it.  When I thought I may relapse, they kept pushing me forward.  

I asked for their strength to be my guiding force.  And I was bestowed with courage.  Because strength wasn’t what I needed, it was courage.  They knew better than I did and gave me exactly what I needed to survive myself.  

Spirituality teaches you to learn to embrace the darkness so that you can find the light.  Don’t misconstrue darkness with evil- those are two separate entities.  Darkness, like your drinking days, sheds a new perspective on your life when you get sober.  

The trials and tribulations are viewed as a blessing in disguise.  You realize what was once your world was the result of a faulty foundation.

The best way to start over is from scratch

You now have the ability to build a new castle or empire rather than an unstable structure that was prone to destruction.  And that’s the light- when you witness your own metamorphosis.  

Being in the abyss of your own darkness can be a positive thing if you allow it to be.  Recognizing and learning the poignancy of pain so that it can be transcended into pleasure is where the magic’s at.  

And that’s what life is about; learning how to transform pain into pleasure.  I’m not by any means telling anyone to be a masochist, far from it.  What I’m advocating is that you have the ability to turn your suffering into bliss through spirituality.

Spirituality can be anything you want it to be

You don’t have to travel to an ashram for six months or travel to the Himalayas to find nirvana.  Find spirituality right where you are.  

Start little by little.  If oracle cards and pendulums aren’t your thing, that’s fine.  They don’t have to be.  

Keep it simple.

Try these spiritual practices:

  • Light a candle or incense
  • Declare first thing in the morning that you’re going to have an amazing day
  • set an intention  
  • meditation
  • connecting with the earth for a few minutes
  • deep breathing  

If you need a little more guidance on spiritual practices to cultivate, read this.

Ask for spiritual support

They’ll do the same for you as long a you ask.  If you’re not to keen on speaking to spirit guides, just ask it out loud and allow the magic to unfold.  But, do remember that if you want miracles, you have to believe in them. 

Even if your agnostic or atheist, you can ask for outside help.  Because sometimes when you’re all you’ve got, that’s not enough. Call upon the Divine for a helping hand.  Let them be your friends and help guide you to the right choices which will inevitably be the right path.  


Now that you have your three questions and exercises, its time to start doing the work.  When you do, you’ll learn so much about who you are. When that happens, you’ll keep digging deeper to peel away the layers until you reach your core; your heart.  

Spend time learning who you are in sobriety. You’ll be awarded with stunning revelations for your own inner realization which cultivates a power so great, that nothing can stand between you and your recovery.  It’s time to be the provocateur of your own revolution.  

Take your time with this.  If you’re not comfortable answering one question or even all three right now, that’s ok.  You can always come back when you’re ready to face your darkness.  This is all about your comfort level and gently pushing beyond its parameters.

If you know of anyone that can benefit from this, please be sure to share it with them. 

See ya soon.

In the meantime, stay zenspired!



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