Today, I’m going to be sharing with you 10 ways to tap into your sensuality and femininity in sobriety. Because you deserve to feel like the goddess you know you are.
I get it. Those early days of sobriety leave you feeling worthless and depressed. You feel far from sexy and empowered.
When I sobered up nearly five years ago, I felt like an absolute train wreck. The humiliation hangover haunting me left me feeling deprived of my divine femininity.
Because I was starved and malnourished from taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. I was always taking care of everyone but me since I was a child so I didn’t know the first thing about caring for yours truly.
Not to mention, we’re not exactly classy and refined when we’re annihilated.
Since then, I’ve enhanced my own routine and added some new ways to dive into femininity, which I’m going to be sharing with you.
Let me be clear. I don’t mean tapping into your femininity in terms of modern day feminism.
I’m talking about the traditional sense- where women were unapologetically themselves, honored their intuition, fierce wild women, and knew how to get what they wanted without having to desecrate their morals.
We’re anything but feminine these days. Society keeps indoctrinating/brainwashing us women to be overtly masculine.
Not that there’s anything wrong with masculinity, because each and every single one of us has both sides within, but when we delve into masculinity too much, we become aggressive, domineering, and calculating.
This also does not mean that we have to be stepford wives who kowtow to a man’s whims and desires.
Sensuality and femininity is about cultivating the compassionate and caring side of yourself. Becoming the wild woman who just doesn’t care what others say about her.
It’s about connecting to your heart and following the wisdom of your inner compass. You’re afforded with the luxury to become the person you aspire to be, all by embracing the aspects of yourself that you deem too vulnerable or unworthy.
Embracing your own gentility so you can ride the waves of life in sobriety with grace and fluidity. And of course, to radiate and glow the f*ck up.
Let’s get started, shall we?
How to tap into your sensuality & femininity in sobriety
Now, if you’re thinking you’re not flexible enough or lack the grace to do yoga, change your mindset ASAP.
Yoga provides you with stark and stunning realizations about yourself. Things you thought you let go of, repressed emotions that you’ve long forgotten about, the ability to face discomfort right in the face without running away from it.
And with time, you release those blockages, paving a new path for yourself- one of your own creation. Because you’re no longer living with the mindset that you’re a product of your environment, leaving you stuck in a perpetual cycle of being a victim.
You build fortitude, strength, and resilience- mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. You learn to ride the waves of life with grace and fluidity.
I personally love it because it provides me with the dichotomy of what I need and want- something to challenge me while simmering me down.
With time, you bring an elegance into your life that you didn’t know existed within yourself. You harness those bits and pieces of yourself you once thought to be weaknesses and view them in a whole different light.
Give it a try. You won’t be disappointed.
I possibly couldn’t leave meditation off the list because it’s so soothing for your soul and it teaches eloquence of the mind.
Meditation, like yoga, is one of those things where if you feel that you don’t have what it takes, then you might as well not try.
But if you strip away all of your mental blockages and view meditation from a different perspective, it will help you to take a deep dive into your sensuality and femininity in sobriety.
It’s not about sitting in silence with your eyes closed while thinking about nothing. It’s about taking those moments for yourself in quiet contemplation while doing something you enjoy. Meditation is an act of self-care for personal development.
You can play some music and just listen to the words while moving your body, or go for a walk and make a conscious effort to absorb your surroundings, or do the dishes or laundry while being fully engaged in the act.
Meditation is about cultivating self-awareness. You eventually see the hindrances- all of those times you’re operating strictly out of masculinity (the survivor mode) rather than femininity (the go with the flow mentality).
You learn about yourself, you evolve, you witness what’s holding you back from connecting to your heart center- the feminine side of your being.
I absolutely love anything to do with witchery. From reading books, watching tv shows and movies, creating my own spells, and living a lifestyle where I grow my own medicinal and magical herbs along with how I conduct myself.
I know witchery has such a negative connotation in society. But screw that.
It’s not about casting voodoo spells and conjuring up the dead. It’s about living a life where you’re so in tune with yourself that you have the ability to create magic. To birth a whole new life out of muck. All by having faith, the right ingredients, and powerful intentions.
And if you can embrace the wild woman within while creating magic, why wouldn’t you do it?
You can even create spells to harness your sensuality and femininity in sobriety. All you have to do is put in a bit of effort.
I’m going to give you an elixir you can spray on yourself, your clothes, your bedding, or anywhere you wish to bring in more sensuality and femininity.
Here’s what you’ll need:
- Moon water (the moon is feminine energy)
- Dried rose petals
- Himalayan pink salt
- Any orange crystal you have (to connect to your sacral Chakra)
- Night blooming jasmine (It’s not always easy to find but if you can, it smells absolutely divine)
How to make it:
- Take your moon water (all you have to do is take some distilled water and charge it under a full moon to harness the powers of the moon) and pour into a spray bottle.
- Place your dried herbs in there. I didn’t give quantities because this is all based on what you prefer.
- Place your orange crystal next to the spray bottle and leave it there for a few hours to allow the herbs to infuse and the crystal to charge the water.
Viola! You’re very own witchery elixir to reign in on your sensuality and femininity in sobriety.
I can’t even begin to rave enough about chakra dancing. Not only do you balance your energetic body, but you become the embodiment for sensuality and femininity in sobriety.
If you’re not aware, according to the Ancient Indians and Chinese, we have 108 meridian lines which connect to seven main energy centers within our bodies. These vortices are known as chakras- our life force.
When they become imbalanced, we can develop a slew of ailments, including addictions. But they can always be recalibrated. All it takes is some time and dedication to travel down a path of wellbeing.
Which is where chakra dancing comes in.
I’m one of those that takes a course and loses interest super quickly, but there’s something different with chakra dancing. I’ve been doing this for about a year now and I’m in love with it. It’s how I start my day or when I’m in need of embracing my sensuality and femininity.
You can check out the link here. It’s done on a sliding scale basis so no matter your budget, you’ll be easily able to afford it. I do NOT receive commissions from this.
Compassion will go such a long way in your sobriety journey. Especially for yourself.
I remember during my drinking days I was consumed with so much rage and anger. I never thought I would be able to navigate away from those emotions, even though I desperately tried.
But to be honest, there was a part of me that was addicted to feeling that way. Because the more I was in that state, the more of a victim I was able to be and as a result, I didn’t have to assume responsibility for my emotions or my life.
I’m not saying you’re the same way but if you are, it’s ok. We all have to travel our own journey. And one day, you’ll come out of your psychological debauchery.
You need to start practicing compassion for yourself, your mistakes, and those who have harmed you.
I’m not by any means saying you have to reconnect with people you don’t want to.
Forgiveness is NOT synonymous to reconciliation.
It’s about having the compassion to see those who inflict pain and suffering onto others are victims of their own mind.
Be gentle and kind to you. Because you deserve your own compassion.
I was never big on having a gratitude practice when I was drinking, but I can tell you, its helped me immensely since I’ve sobered up. It took me out of the heavy and repressive emotions into a state where I wake up feeling blessed to be alive.
There are two different types of gratitude- expressing or feeling. You want to stick with the latter because you will connect with your sensual and feminine side more.
The difference between expressing and feeling gratitude is that while you can mindlessly write or say things you’re grateful for, it doesn’t do much. Because you’re not in your heart, truly feeling the depths of your love.
On the other hand, when you feel gratitude from every fiber in your body, you feel more awakened to your own surroundings and connected to yourself. You build an intimate relationship with yourself.
You can feel gratitude by connecting to your heart center.
- Place one or both hands on your heart until you feel those warm, fuzzy feelings.
- It can take a minute or several, be patient. Those feelings will come.
- Once you’re there, start to say silently or out loud, what you’re grateful for.
- You’ll notice an immense difference. You may get teary eyed because you’re authentically communicating just how blessed you are.
Do this every day if you can. If not, no worries. But do try and make this a regular practice.
Dress for yourself
Of course, if you’re dating someone or married, you want to dress to impress them. But why not get dressed for you?
I know with the world being in lockdown for what seems like an eternity, it’s so much easier to just throw on a pair of sweats and not put in much effort, because no one will see you. But can you honestly say you feel better about yourself?
I can tell you that during quarantine, I put on my makeup, did my hair, and wore a dress everyday. Because I was doing it for myself and my sanity. I don’t even own one pair of sweatpants because I want to feel good about myself so I take the time to look good for myself.
And when you feel pretty, well- your confidence soars to new heights.
This isn’t about vanity. This is about you taking the time to feel sensual and feminine. After all, do you feel sexier in a pair of sweatpants or a dress that hugs all of your curves?
Exactly. Besides, putting on a dress is actually less effort than putting on a pair of sweats because you’re still going to have to put on a shirt. But if you’re wearing a dress, it’s a one piece outfit that takes less time to put on.
Start embracing your wild feminine side by putting some effort towards how you dress. And please, dress for you and no one else. Turn up the goddess energy on yourself.
Planting and Gardening
If you think planting and gardening has nothing to do with tapping into your sensuality and femininity in sobriety, think again.
I know- having dirt on your hands and sweating in the blistering heat feels far from sexy. But it’s more than that.
When you plant and garden, you’re delving into the maternal and nurturing side of yourself. You’re caring for something other than you. You’re creating life and giving it the opportunity to flourish and thrive.
And if you’re growing your own herbs and veggies, even better. You’re putting food in your body that’s great for you and you know exactly what’s going into your body because they won’t be loaded with chemicals.
There is nothing sexier than an intelligent woman who has an arsenal of words at her disposal.
And that’s what reading will do for you- expand beyond your vernacular, making you a force to be reckoned with.
Pick up a new book, even if it’s just to learn a new hobby and start a new healthy habit that promotes you delving into the sensuality and femininity in sobriety.
Self-Care (it’s not a day at the spa)
Self-care is so much more than pampering yourself at the spa. Though, if that’s what you choose to indulge in, that’s awesome.
But the fact is that self-care is about nurturing and cherishing yourself on an emotional level so that you can be the best version of yourself. It’s about you learning to glow from within so that you don’t have to seek external validation and approval.
Purging all the psychological blockages, healing from trauma, and embracing your idiosyncrasies is all an act of self-care. Respect yourself enough to want to heal without expecting anyone to come in and save you. Because you’re in charge of your own salvation.
Do the inner work, move your body, and pick up hobbies. Once you do, you won’t be easily triggered. You won’t feel insecure because of past pain. You’ll learn to trust yourself. More importantly, you’ll fucking love yourself.
And what’s more sensual and feminine than anyone who is the love of their life? Nothing. Because you’ll have it going on. And that my dear, is unparalleled to what anyone else will ever provide for you.
There you have it…ten ways to tap into your sensuality and femininity in sobriety.
Have you tried any of these to harness the wild woman within? Let me know in the comments below.
And please be sure to share this with anyone you think may benefit from this.
See ya soon and in the meantime, stay zenspired!
Liked what you read? Then hit that sign up button for a FREE 30 Days Of Self-Care Guide.