Have you ever thought to yourself, “How can I complicate recovery as much as possible?” Didn’t think so.
But I’m sure you’ve thought to yourself plenty of times, “Why is recovery so difficult?” Or “Why am I not having any fun in sobriety?” Or you start to compare yourself to someone else. “Why does that person seem to have it all and I can’t seem to get my sh!t together?”
That’s the paradox of finding your calm in recovery. We get so consumed with the zealous pursuit of finding our bliss that it eludes us. Because we often forget it’s within us already.
Here’s the simple answer with the not so simple steps:
We need to deconstruct outdated and toxic thought processes. Then condition ourselves to find peace within.
You may be thinking, can’t we just affirm that we’re in a state of calm? Well, yes.
But then we’d be bypassing all the inner work and eventually have to start over at square one.
However, that doesn’t mean it has to remain a figment of your imagination. Because finding your calm in recovery can be done right now. At least, when you have someone who’s been in the same boat as you to help you from where you’re currently at versus where you wanna get to!
In this post, you’ll get a detailed guide on how to apply these steps, but here’s the general breakdown of how to find your calm in recovery:
- Simplify
- Rediscover who you are
- Release
As a holistic recovery coach and energy healer who sobered up on my own over 5 years ago, I’m here to help you rock your recovery. By taking the guesswork out of how you’re supposed to do things, I help you to reconnect to your mind, body & soul.
Let’s start helping you find your calm, shall we?
How to find your calm in recovery
Simplify
I think this is where most of us get caught up in the nuances of life in recovery. We overcomplicate everything. From questioning if sobriety is really worth it to how we’re going to have fun to our own judgement.
And with good reason. It’s our new lease on life so we want to make sure we’re doing it right and making each moment count.
But it can also easily go overboard. We want to make sure we’re in the driver’s seat so essentially, we start to micro manage our own lives.
This is why when you simplify, you take the worry and control freak tendencies (so guilty of this so absolutely no judgement) out of everything. From there, you learn to embrace your recovery and the person you’re becoming.
Whatever questions you have, ask yourself.
Always start with yourself. You’ll see why in the second step.
Declutter the thoughts. Clean your mind. Purge what you can’t control.
CLEEN CARMA
Simplify what goes on in your head. It’s going to ease so much unnecessary stress from yourself. And take the pressure off of doing things the “right way” or the way you “should be” doing things.
Simplify your perception:
- Happiness is a decision. Not a destination.
- Fun is what you make of it.
- Savor that first sip of your morning coffee/tea (because this just makes life more beautiful)
What we think becomes self-fulfilling prophecies.
That means YOU hold the power within yourself to find your inner peace in recovery.
This is your journey. How you choose to live your life in recovery is your prerogative. Not anyone else’s definition of what or who you should be.
Unsure where or even how to start? Keep reading because the next tip is going to help with that.
Find your calm in recovery by getting back to the basics
You are your own Guru. All the answers you’re seeking are already residing within the powerhouse of wisdom that’s your soul.
Which means when you get back to the basics, you learn how to be at peace in your recovery journey.
Listen to your inner wisdom
Listen to yourself. Not anyone else. Even what I say. Because what I or anyone else says may contradict your feelings.
While others may have your best intentions at heart, they don’t know the guidance you need. Only you do.
Recovery isn’t just about staying sober. There’s so much more that comes in the journey. And a part of the healing journey is learning to trust yourself again.
HERE’S A TIP:
- Listen to the first instinctual answer you receive. That’s your inner compass. It will never lead you astray. Only to your destiny.
- Anything else that comes after is your mind playing tricks on you.
The brain is a survival organ (SOURCE) so it will always encourage you to go with what it already knows- the safe route.
You guessed it…your brain isn’t accustomed to you trusting yourself. Because it wants you to survive.
But you want to thrive. And you will. When you build trust through your intuition.
Find your calm in recovery through rediscovering yourself
A question you may find yourself asking is, “Who am I as a sober person?” I know I did. Quite frequently.
And it annoyed me that I hadn’t the slightest clue how to describe myself beyond the surface level semantics.
Which is why rediscovering yourself is going to help you find your calm in recovery. I think it goes without saying that we can’t truly find bliss if we’re unaware of who we are. Because we’ll always be chasing something- anything that gives us a thrill. Which ultimately is superficial happiness.
Find your fire
Find what makes your inner fire burn with eternal passion. Chase your dreams. Become the person you’ve always aspired to be.
Those things that you’ve always wanted to do but drinking got in the way? Do them. Sign up for that painting or pottery class. Start those sewing lessons. Read that book. Learn how to decorate a cake.
Whatever it is, start doing them. Because not only is it going to kill boredom, but it’s going to build confidence. Something I’m sure you want plenty more of.
The more you engage with what interests you, the more you’re living life rather than watching life happen.
You find yourself in the process. And when that happens, somewhere along the way, you find your calm in recovery.
Everything starts with you. That key to your happiness? You’re holding it. You may not remember where you placed it. But with some soul searching, you’ll find it.
CLEEN CARMA
Release
Ugh…the mind f*ckery.
From reliving the time when we wiped out on our ass from drunk dancing at a wedding (yup, that was me). To the times we woke up next to someone we would never dare sleep with (you know- paperbag theory) had we been sober.
At least, that’s how it was for me. And truth be told, at over 5 years of sobriety, I still have those cringeworthy moments.
But the fact of the matter is, it’s out of our control. What’s done is done.
If only we had a time machine, right? So until science can create one for us, we’re gonna have to make do with what we have.
That starts with releasing anything that isn’t helping us to grow and evolve. I do have to be very clear about this sentiment.
This is not about releasing what we haven’t healed from.
If you need guidance on that, check THIS post out.
When I say release, I mean the things we have absolutely no control over. Not the repressed emotions we’ve been harboring. There’s a fine line that makes the world of a difference.
Let me give you an example. Someone berates you for what you did during your drinking days. Yeah, it’s douchy behavior on their part. But you also don’t have control over that person’s actions. Only your own.
This also isn’t about pacifying anyone. Because if someone is violating your boundaries, I’m a firm advocate of you standing your ground.
However, you also can’t control what comes out of someone’s mouth. Only the way you react to it.
So there’s really no sense in replaying the scenario until it becomes a broken record because it’s already happened.
What you can do is speak to them about their lack of common human decency. But what you want to steer away from is letting it rob you of your peace.
TRY THIS:
- Get in a comfortable position with your eyes closed.
- Feel the anger and pain. I mean, really let it consume you.
- Once you get into that state, honor the emotions.
- Yes, embrace that anger and rage. Treat it as if it’s a good thing. Just because society labels what’s good and bad doesn’t mean it’s black and white. All emotions are neutral. It’s our perception of emotions that gives it power.
- So when you treat “negative” emotions as a good thing, it no longer has the power to dictate your circumstances in a negative manner.
- When you’ve fully honored the emotions, open your eyes.
- You’ll feel refreshed and rejuvenated.
- You may have to do this exercise a few or several times before you can accept it, and that’s ok. Because if Rome wasn’t built in a day, you can’t expect yourself to be either.
- Repeat this exercise anytime you need to come back to zen.
There you have it…how to find your calm in recovery.
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See ya soon…in the meantime, love yourself so much that even a Hallmark Christmas movie would be jealous.
